Jane Elliot, PhD is an academic and coach who has a profound understanding of the psychology behind self-sabotage, particularly in highly intelligent and high-achieving individuals. We recently sat down to discuss her insights and the framework she created to identify and address the different types of avoidance that hold them back. I found myself nodding in agreement, recognizing myself and others in the different avoidance styles she described. In this post, I share the four types and some personal insights and reflections on each one.

There's a reason you're not living that bigger, more badass life you've been manifesting so hard it hurts. And somewhere deep down, you know you're lying to yourself because you're scared shitless of actually having what you say you want. We've all read enough self-help books to know it's about mindset—thoughts become things, blah blah blah. But if that's all it took, we'd all be sipping cocktails on our private beaches. The uncomfortable truth? You've been feeling sorry for yourself for as long as you can remember, and those "first world problems" have become the background music that keeps you stuck. Understanding how to get over yourself is literally the difference between staying stuck and moving forward. It's time for some compassionate accountability and a great big gulp of Grow the Fuck Up Already.