The Joy of Missing Out

I freaking love technology, even though I'm a bit slow to learn most of it. I love how technology enables me to shop for stuff I need at any time of the day or night, with hat hair and a rosacea breakout, no makeup and wearing my favorite pair of baggy sweatpants. Companies that have free shipping both ways, in addition to my favorite goods and services, will have my business indefinitely, or at least until someone even better comes along. Technology has enabled me to meet, communicate with...

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Be a Guide Dog, Not a Pack Mule

Wednesdays at 5:30 AM, my favorite gym class is totally insane. It's hard to believe that many people in the Portland suburbs are willing to get up at the crack of dawn to stake out a 3'x5' piece of territory in a mirrored room, but it's true. I take this same class every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at the same time, but the Wednesday instructor has a following that borders on celebrity status. By 5:15, it's literally wall to wall people, jockeying for position and laying claim to the...

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The Mentally Healthy Entrepreneur

Entrepreneurs, freelancers, side hustlers, and gig workers make up a small, but growing slice of the economy. Much of that growth is due to the lingering effects of the recession that hit us over a decade ago. Then there are the Baby Boomers that are getting pushed out of the job market who can't afford to retire, or simply don't want to, the Millennials who deeply value a lifestyle that is not built on being chained to a desk for the better part of four decades, only to get pushed out before...

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Don't be an Advice ATM

boundaries Mar 01, 2021
 

Are you someone who has always been asked for advice? In this week’s solo episode, I tackled the issue of setting boundaries around when to actually give it. Many people will ask for your advice but they do not really need it, they just need someone to listen to them, so you can be empathic and let them know you want to support them, and that’s it.  No need to give advice that you know they will never follow anyway.  

I used to dispense advice like an ATM,...

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Boundaries

boundaries Feb 23, 2021

Have you ever noticed how much difficulty most people have with setting boundaries? And when I say boundaries, I am talking about physical, emotional, sexual, financial, energetic, and time boundaries. Maybe I am taking the whole subject a little too far, but I think boundaries are everything, especially when it comes to personal freedom and living life on your terms. Even if you don't consider yourself much of a people pleaser, you probably give others more of your time, energy, effort, and...

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Unnecessary Suffering

blog boundaries Feb 16, 2021

So much of human behavior is tied to morality, even if we aren't a card-carrying member of any known religion. Be a good boy. Good girls don't. We want to do something because of the way it will make us feel. And we are shamed out of doing it with the threat of feeling the opposite. Manipulating the feels is big business. The music I grew up listening to had lyrics like "How can it be wrong when it feels so right?' and I heard plenty of marketing slogans like "If it feels good, do it.' No...

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Just Say No

boundaries podcast Jan 05, 2021
 

Do you often find yourself trapped in a situation where some recurring requests or favors are thrown at you and you just find it difficult to decline? If there's one of the many things that most people find extremely tough to deal with, it might be learning how to say "no." Wanna know why? Because admit it or not, people always feel the need to be liked, and accepting those requests is just one way to get the validation that we seek.

But it’s not just about that. According to...

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Just Say No

blog boundaries Dec 31, 2020

When you meet a woman who has good boundaries, bears no resemblance to a people pleaser and carefully considers her own needs before agreeing to take responsibility for someone else's, time seems to stand still and you're admittedly in a bit of shock as well as admiration. I am not talking about a woman who is a genuine bitch, who actually doesn't give two shits about anyone but herself, that's a different story. I don't mean a Disney villainess either. I am talking about a woman who is...

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Obligation Management

blog boundaries Jun 25, 2020

Listen. If you are a driven woman, you have simply got to get in control of your day. Otherwise, it will control you. I am a bit of a productivity fanatic, so I am always on the lookout for every new app, brain hack, and planner that promises to help me get more done in less time. BUT, none of those tools are going to make a bit of difference unless you make and follow some simple rules about where your time goes, and to whom. 

For years, I called my efforts to get shit done "time...

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