When chatting amongst my coaching colleagues, the comment I hear most often when the subject of sales or selling comes up is how much they hate it. And even when they don't hate it, they wish there was a way to sell that didn't feel 'salesy'. Many coaches I've met just really love coaching and believe they are skilled at it, but absolutely can't stand to sell. This leads to only two possibilities -they have a coaching "hobby" ( it's not a business unless you have income) or they work in...

Have you ever been in the position of needing to find a way to fit in, belong or make connections in a new city? I am reminded of this right now because I moved from Los Angeles, where I had lived since birth, to Portland, OR two years ago. I didn't know a single person here, but I was ready for a change and my plan is to make Portland home. Well, thanks to the pandemic, I still only got a chance to meet a handful of people, but I'm still an extrovert by nature, so it's only a matter of...

I used to think that there were natural-born entrepreneurs, those bold and unconventional types that could never be tied down to the monotony and predictability of the 9 to 5. These entrepreneurs are the mavericks, the rule-breakers, the kids who didn't do well in school, either because they were bored silly by what was being taught or they couldn't sit still long enough to actually learn the stuff, boring or not. These entrepreneurs walked fast, talked fast and made fast decisions. Their...

Whether you're looking for a romantic partner or searching for your next job opportunity, we're essentially talking about supply and demand. Having something to offer (aka being "marketable") is obviously important, but so is what we are thinking about our situation. One of my clients is a 47-year-old man who is changing jobs and my 20-year-old niece is single and looking for her next boyfriend. I'm struck by the similarities in their unconscious beliefs about themselves and the world, even...

Have you ever heard the expression 'whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right'? When I first started hearing people say it, I thought it was some kind of a trick saying, meant to confuse people and make them look foolish, so I didn't even try to figure it out. After a while, I guess I had heard it so many times that I got curious, and whenever I'm curious about something, I can usually figure it out. Well, it turned out to be a pretty useful expression, after all. The...

Wednesdays at 5:30 AM, my favorite gym class is totally insane. It's hard to believe that many people in the Portland suburbs are willing to get up at the crack of dawn to stake out a 3'x5' piece of territory in a mirrored room, but it's true. I take this same class every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at the same time, but the Wednesday instructor has a following that borders on celebrity status. By 5:15, it's literally wall to wall people, jockeying for position and laying claim to the...

So much of human behavior is tied to morality, even if we aren't a card-carrying member of any known religion. Be a good boy. Good girls don't. We want to do something because of the way it will make us feel. And we are shamed out of doing it with the threat of feeling the opposite. Manipulating the feels is big business. The music I grew up listening to had lyrics like "How can it be wrong when it feels so right?' and I heard plenty of marketing slogans like "If it feels good, do it.' No...

I never really thought of myself as creative. In fact, I used to scratch my head while watching my son, a musician, homemade kombucha king and electronic DJ and daughter, who designs and sews totally unique Halloween and Burning Man costumes and truly memorable Christmas gifts for friends and family, wondering where the hell they got their creativity from.

Even though my collection of handmade pewter crosses was stolen from a display case during Back to School Night in high school, my poems,...

One of the biggest changes I have made in my life in the last few years is to recognize how much I have focused on immediate gratification.  Not the obsessive-compulsive, addictive definition where you can't stop yourself from eating, drinking, shopping, Facebook scrolling, or whatever, but more of the chasing after things that I knew I could get and fast. Examples of this are: over scheduling my days by booking too many appointments and then having to race from one to another, just...

When you meet a woman who has good boundaries, bears no resemblance to a people pleaser and carefully considers her own needs before agreeing to take responsibility for someone else's, time seems to stand still and you're admittedly in a bit of shock as well as admiration. I am not talking about a woman who is a genuine bitch, who actually doesn't give two shits about anyone but herself, that's a different story. I don't mean a Disney villainess either. I am talking about a woman who is...