Don't Outsource Your Self Esteem

It can be hard to generate self-confidence in this day and age. It like insecurity, social anxiety, and imposter syndrome are nearly universal among young women, who ruthlessly compare themselves to one another and find themselves lacking. One of the reasons for this, I believe is because we seek permission from others to be ourselves. We outsource our self-esteem by allowing whether others approve of us or not to determine whether or not we are able to approve of ourselves. It can be tough...

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Hope has Nothing to do With it

Nearly every person I know has a great, big shiny dream. They can envision themselves living the new life they will have when this dream becomes reality and often daydream about it happening "someday.' Whether they want to start a business, live in a foreign country, adopt a child, go back to school or transform their health, most of us long for something we don't have and believe our lives will be better, happier or more satisfying when we do. And the majority of us won't ever see those...

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You Are Responsible

I am 100% responsible for my life. The person I have become, how much or how little I have accomplished, how much I own and how much I owe. How many friends I have and how many enemies. The lines on my face and the letters after my name. It's all on me. And I am totally willing to accept this reality and believe I am empowered by it. 

Where I grew up, there were plenty of people who had a leg up in life from the start. Their parents had money, status, and connections and they taught...

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Choose Your Habits or They Will Choose You

Have you ever noticed how everything you think, feel and do eventually becomes a habit? It starts out innocently enough, that first puff of someone else's cigarette at a party in middle school and the next thing you know, you're a pack a day smoker. And, I'm not just talking about the addictive stuff. Obviously, if you smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol or use drugs, you are very likely to form an addictive habit, but it's just as likely that you are going to form a habit around drinking coffee...

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Love the Outlier

I am in another city. I don't live here, I am visiting. Well, not exactly visiting either. I'm here for a wedding. The wedding of a very good friend of my husband's and mine. He is a very pale, red-headed white guy with long hair, who always wears hats and is a brilliant, introverted engineer. She is an exuberant and delightful Jamaican woman who can captivate a room of strangers with her gregarious nature. They own a successful company together and a couple of houses. And now they are...

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Who Do You Think You Are?

Human beings love to label themselves. Woman. Married. Coach. Buddhist. Dog lover. Coffee drinker. We also love to label others. It's easier to remember people when you have a way to sort and categorize them. It's just human nature and our brains are wired to do it automatically. But, even though it's the way we operate, and there's no doubt that putting labels on people makes it easier to sort and file them than just trying to recall every single individual characteristic, there is a great...

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Get Over Yourself Already

There's a reason you're not where you're "supposed to be." You know what I mean. Living that bigger, more badass and infinitely better life that you've been dreaming of and vision boarding and manifesting so hard it hurts. And in spite of all the victim mindset bullshit that you are absolutely convinced is simply "speaking your truth" and being authentic, somewhere deep down, I mean really deep, you know you're lying to yourself because you're scared shitless of actually having what you say...

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I Want to Clone Myself

I was really rooting for Dolly. She had become almost an overnight celebrity, not just among scientists, but with people like me. The ones who have more dreams and wishes than they can possibly explore in one, a limited lifetime. Maybe that's why I embraced Buddhism. The idea of rebirth. I might not remember what I did, or who I was the last go-around, but at least I'll have another chance. I know that's not the intention of the Buddhist path. Other Buddhists aspire to escape the cycle of...

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Adrenaline Junkie

I'm not proud of it, but I'm not denying it anymore either. For most of my adult life, I have been an adrenaline junkie. The sweet, sweet feeling of high octane stress chemicals coursing through my veins was my drug of choice. And the best part was that I never even had to do anything illegal to get my fix. It was honestly almost too easy. All I had to do was procrastinate on stuff that was moderate to severely important, like writing a term paper or filing my tax return, holding off to the...

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Growth Mindset : Fixed Mindset

Maybe you consider yourself to be a life long learner, like me. In fact, I am pretty insatiable when it comes to learning new things. I am always up to my eyelashes in some course of study, devouring everything I can get my hands on about it until I am satisfied that I know as much as I need and want to know. One of the subjects I literally never get tired of is how the brain actually works and how to use your mind to get the most out of your brain. Some people call it cognitive training or...

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